Thursday, September 22, 2011

09/22/2011

Just a little over three hours until my final Herceptin infusion. Its such a bittersweet time in this whole journey. I think if I could afford to, and the medical community would support it, I would just continue the Herceptin until I couldn't anymore. I know they say there is no benefit to another year, but I'm such a "more is more" thinker. I've changed my diet and lifestyle for the most part- with a couple big slip ups in the past week. But I know its going to be my actions and lifestyle from here forward that keep fighting without the drugs.

Hopefully, I will be one of the lucky women randomized to the Neratinib on the trial. This remains to be seen. For those of you with good vibes, please send them toward OHSU, for those with prayers, we need those as well. We have yet to determine what plan "b" will be.

This week has been a roller coaster, happiness about the end of treatment, fear about what is to come, sadness over the loss of a friend and fellow survivor, and appreciation for all of the support I've received from my friends and family. I've even had the opportunity to foster some new friendships with an amazing couple who knows this battle even better than we do. Next week will be my final surgery.

There isn't much to do this month except look back and realize how far we've come. Since I was diagnosed, we have celebrated our 3rd and 4th wedding anniversaries. Shane has completed college and just got a new job as a Counselor. I have finished all my Master's level coursework, changed jobs and began mediating with Neighbor to Neighbor. We have held each other up through a major surgery, I have gone from hair to no hair to hair. We have driven to OHSU hundreds of times, met hundreds of people, and felt so much love from people we already know. We have cried ourselves to sleep some nights, been elated at how blessed we are, and sat confused at what's next. Regardless, we are here, together, at the end of all of this treatment and all we can do is start our normal lives again and hope and pray that history doesn't repeat itself.

Today is a day of celebration and hope for us as we start our next journey. This is not a time to take things for granted - and I needed that reminder this week. My friend Claudia posted that we should never take second chances for granted, and there wasn't anything else I needed to hear at that exact moment. I won't be taking this chance for granted! Thank you to everyone who has touched us in one way or another for getting us to this point.

Love and hugs,
Heather & Shane

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